Monday, July 20-Sunday, July26, 2009 * Days #21-#25
Revise one paragraph of your novel or story so that each sentence does the following:
1. relies on strong, specific nouns and verbs
2. varies in structure
(Read the first page of Louise Erdrich's novel for a good example of this.)
Successfully complete this week's challenge and you earn the rank of Shrinking Adverb. (Add this to your previous titles of: 1. Copycat, 2. Wordsmith, 3. Adaptor of Film, 4. Mad Fish.)
Remember to post your points at the end of each week.
And keep writing! Even one day is better than none!
A community of children's and young adult writers who find acceptance through rejection.
6 comments:
My prompt writing this week was not exceptional in any way, so I am declining to post it. However, I did earn some points this week, and here they are: 6.
Here is my paragraph:
(Blue Sky is Salamander's bike; the kind person who gave it to her named it Blue Sky in his childhood. She kept the name for the bike.)
The lines where Blue Sky and I skid through the gravely place are still there. I walk along them, trying to trace what happened. Kneeling beside the trench, I look down at the scraped up rebar and the watery mud. Tiny red shards glimmer in the sun. I stretch to reach them, sifting through the mud until I find the largest piece—a triangular shard about the length of quarter—of Blue Sky’s front reflector. I dip the shard in the water and wipe it clean on my pants. The edges are jagged, like the cuts on my forehead and arm. It’s all that’s left of Blue Sky.
* * *
My points are: 6
To all of the rest of you writers, it's fine if you don't want to post your points. Maybe points makes it all too difficult. But DO post updates once in a while on what you're working on and how you are doing.
I hope that all is going well!
UGH!
I changed this line: I kneel beside the trench and look down at the scraped up rebar and the watery mud.
To the line that starts with: kneeling
Because I was trying to get sentence variety. And then I just reread the post, and I have too many ING words in there. So, I'm going back to: I kneel beside the trench and look down at the scraped up rebar and the watery mud.
Fun times.
A possible revision:
The lines where I skid through the gravely place are still there. I walk along them, trying to trace what happened. I kneel beside the trench and look down at the scraped up rebar and the watery mud. Tiny red shards of Blue Sky’s front reflector glimmer in the sun. I stretch to reach them, sifting through the mud until I find the largest piece—a triangular shard that would fit inside a quarter. I dip the shard in the water and wipe it clean on my pants. The edges are jagged, like the cuts on my forehead and arm. It’s all that’s left, really, of Blue Sky.
:-)
Writing writing writing.
Lisa, I like your final re-write there. Atleast the final one you posted.
And I love seeing your before and after. Such a comfort to know its a process for all of us.
Haven't posted anything for awhile, its been a crazy July. But tonight I'm working on tripling the length of a skeleton chapter.
Where did I learn this from? Lisa.
You should post something you're working on!
Post a Comment